"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." - Robert A. Heinlein

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Summer of Hoop-Jumping (Dealing With the Administration at Southwestern College, Part I)

I know a few college professors. To be truthful, I know a lot of college professors. They are as different from each other as any population, but like any subset of the people, they have their own recurrent topics of conversation.


One such topic, of course, is “students.” As a smaller part of that subject, another frequently mentioned discussion topic is ‘student excuses.’

“My student says they were dropped without warning while they were trying to register.” “Well, my student claims his financial aid package just disappeared.” “Oh yeah? Well, I know one who says…”

I’ve heard a lot of them: the comments, questions, disbelief. In one instance, a professor of my acquaintance described a situation that a student had with financial aid as “impossible.”

The same thing happened to me.

Don’t think I’m castigating the instructors – I’m not. Not everyone has yet had that student who was able to explain things, to clarify exactly what happened. I suspect that eventually all of them will, because frankly, this system is deeply flawed.

As a result of that flawed system, some students will never get a chance to try again. Some simply fall away from college, because they were wrongly dropped or rejected, or because “they” put up one last hoop, one too high for the student to jump through.

(This article also appears on the Patch network.)

A SUMMER OF HOOP-JUMPING

I applied for financial aid in May this year. I knew about what classes I wanted to take, and by that I mean I had a vague idea, but I was bound and determined to actually get that education. I want that degree I’d never acquired, but the education was my goal.

Okay, the degree really is the goal, but I didn’t want to muck about and try to game the system to get that degree with as little work as possible. I wanted to take those blasted classes and learn something.

I applied near the end of the spring semester. Things began to go wrong immediately. Every day I checked my email with a vague sense of dread, wondering what hoops Southwestern College had for me to leap through this time.

On two separate weekends, I received trios of emails in the middle of the night, starting late Friday – three days of three emails. Both times the format was the same: two emails that read “Congratulations! You’ve been approved for financial aid at SWC!” followed by one that said “We’re sorry, but you’ve been rejected.”

I’m a writer. I can handle rejection.

But each rejection including a line that read (and this is a quote): “…you are not eligible for the program due to the following reason:”

And… nothing. No reason, just a blank line.

Each time that happened, I packed up various documents, records, schedules, tax forms, and so on and hauled it all down to SWC’s financial aid department. Each time I was told, “Whoops! That’s a computer glitch. You shouldn’t have had to come down here. You’re fine.”

That happened twice.

On two other occasions, I received emails that read, “Your application for financial aid at Southwestern College has been received. However, the documents listed below are required to review your file.”

And… nothing. No documents listed, just a blank line.

Of course, these happened at different times than the terrible trios of emails occurred. So again, each time I packed up the document box and hauled it to SWC. And again, each time I was told, “Whoops! That’s another computer glitch. You don’t owe us anything.”

On my fourth and final trip to SWC this past summer to account for documents they didn’t need and to find out why I was eligible, eligible, and ineligible, I asked the employee at the financial aid desk if I needed to provide anything.

“No,” she said. “Your file is closed. You don’t need to bring anything else. We’ll review it and you should be set come autumn!” (I’m paraphrasing here. I didn’t know I’d need to record the conversation.)

Autumn arrived. I’d selected my classes and on the Sunday afternoon before I went back, I suddenly had a feeling of dread. I logged into the campus computer system to see how things were going.

They weren’t.

YOU NEED TO BRING THIS!

There was nothing there about a grant – nothing at all. The school had no record of it.

Had I discovered this during the week, I’d have broken land-speed records getting back to campus to find out just what the hell was going on. As it was, I didn’t get the chance. Stuck at home on Sunday, I dug around the various files and links attached to my records, and through a link titled “Documents,” I found that SWC needed a copy of my high school diploma.

I was actually speechless, until the swearing began.

Diligently, I’d brought copies of everything, including my passport, to the school. As far as I knew, I’d accounted for everything. What high school did I attend? When? Whom do we contact? Can we get copies of your high school transcript? Yep, yep, sure – I filled out all of it. But sometime late this summer, someone decided they wanted that one document.

I accept that. I also have it.

However, no one at SWC ever sent me an email informing me. In fact, no one ever contacted me about it at all. They apparently assumed I’d discover this need on my own. But then another question appeared.

WHO IS “THEY?”

Let me preface this by stating for the record: I don’t hold the SWC employees responsible. With all of California’s budget slashing going on – and thank you so much to the conservatives for making that happen while preserving those precious tax breaks for oil companies that have quit hiring locals and have moved many of their operations to countries with non-existent minimum wages – the campus employees are shorthanded and overworked. Each time I went there, I tried to be polite and reasonable, hence the reason I brought every document I had with me when I went.

But who is “they?” Who sent out these alerts? Who decided to send me ridiculous requests for nothing and constant trios of acceptance and rejection?

The computer system did. It’s all automatic, I’m told.

Seemingly, the computer system outranks the employees, and sends out what it wants at the time, whenever it wants to do it – except when it doesn’t. When it decided that I needed to jump through one more hoop before receiving any grants, it apparently chose to not let me know, and to rely on my scavenging through its innards to find out on my own.

Had I not done this, I never would have known about the damn diploma.

COMING NEXT TIME!

Students clutter up the campus, the Dean of Student Services ignores me, computer systems that are meant not to talk to each other, and how this is all my fault.



Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Kizuna: Fiction for Japan (a charity anthology) is out!

It is with great pleasure that I announce that Kizuna: Fiction for Japan is out! This charity anthology is unlike any other. Featuring a mix of authors - the known and the unknown, created and developed to be released and read online, but designed to also go into print, Kizuna: Fiction for Japan is a labor of love of 76 different writers from 11 different countries - all of whom are taking part in helping the victims of the earthquakes and tsunami in Japan this spring.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this was the brainchild of American-born, Japan-based writer Brent Millis - who alone developed the idea of a charity anthology and then started seeking the opinions of people he knew online.

Brent and I have known each other on Twitter for a couple of years, and on Facebook for nearly as long. We've never met, but we have a clear respect for each other's work and ability. And following this, Brent has my highest level of respect as a man able to do what few others have ever even attempted.

This is from his press release:


The earth shook. The waters rose. Japan cried out...

And we listened. After the devastating earthquake, people from all over the world have found ways to help, and Kizuna: Fiction for Japan is one that is new and unique.

Kizuna: Fiction for Japan is a mixed-genre anthology of short fiction, most of it 1000 words or less. It boasts internationally-known authors like Michael Moorcock, Ken Asamatsu, Jon Courtenay Grimwood, John Shirley, Shinya Gaku, Vittorio Catani, Robert M. Price, Joseph S. Pulver Sr., and Alvin Pang; genre authors like Bradley Sands, Jason Wuchenich, Andersen Prunty, and Garrett Cook; and independent authors like Trent Zelanzy and Glynn Barrass. An astonishing 76 authors answered the call to help and approximately ninety percent of it is original work written specifically for this anthology. 100 percent of the proceeds will go to helping orphans in the disaster-devastated areas of Miyagi, Iwate, and Fukushima via the NPO, Smile Kids Japan.

Smiles and Dreams

Smile Kids Japan and Living Dreams (NPOs/social benefit organizations) are working together on Smiles and Dreams, a program to help the orphanages in the worse affected prefectures of Fukushima, Miyagi, and Iwate. From helping with immediate needs, to setting up long term programs to empower the children to dream again and help them realize their goals, Smiles and Dreams is a grassroots project that gets the money directly to those in need.

From the editor's [Brent Millis'] introduction:

"I turned to my friends in the writing community. Would they contribute? Sure they would! Soon I had ten authors. Then twenty. Thirty... Author friends of author friends were submitting. Authors from Spain, Singapore, Japan, Italy, New Zealand, Germany, France, America, the UK, Australia and Canada all stepped forward. I was stunned. Even now, as corny as it sounds, the gratitude I feel at their selfless desire to help makes me very misty-eyed."

Please help spread the word of Kizuna, a word that means "bond" in Japanese, and create your own bond with the people of Japan.


So You're Involved?

If it seems I'm proud to be involved with Kizuna, let me be clear: I've never been prouder to be involved with anything like this. I think the concept is brilliant, the goal is unbelievably worthy, and the people involved are tremendous.

I've donated my short story, "Ploughman," to Kizuna: Fiction for Japan, for as long as Brent sees fit to use it. It's a good piece, I think, but I honestly could not consider ever using it for anything as good as this.
 
So what's in it?
 
I swiped this from the Kizuna website:  horror, humor, human drama, science fiction, fantasy, absurdist, bizarro, weird, new wave, bugpunk, Cthulu, Sherlock Holmes, historical fiction, and more.
 
So who's in it?
 
Legendary English fantasist, godfather of dark fantasy, and creator of the "Eternal Champion," Michael Moorcock. He gave us Elric, Corum, Dorian Hawkmoon, and Jerry Cornelius, popularized the entire Law versus Chaos notion of fantasy (played and AD&D lately? - that's where Lawful/Chaotic comes from)...
 
Cyberpunk/science fiction/horror writer, screenwriter, and lyricist John Shirley...

Award-winning British fantasy and science fiction author Jon Courtenay Grimwood...

Critically acclaimed Singaporean poet Alvin Pang...

Japanese novelists Shinya Gaku, Ken Asamatsu, and Fumihiko Iino, Canadian novelist Katherine Govier, acclaimed horror author/poet Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Italian science fiction writer Vittorio Catani, Spanish romance/fantasy author Lucía González Lavado, science fiction writer and author of "Night of the Living Trekkies" Kevin David Anderson, Italian essayist/novelist Danilo Arona, American theologian and writer Robert M. Price, bizarro author and editor of "Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens" Bradley Sands, Doctor Who short story writer Richard Salter, Italian writer/scientist/translator/gamer Davide Mana, Japanese novelist and video game scriptwriter Midori Tateyama...

...And about a metric ton of other writers, including all those I failed to list... and me.

So Why Get It?

This is for charity - for a good cause. In fact, at the same time that Brent Millis was compiling and editing these stories, he sought out the charitable groups with which to be involved. And he asked us what we thought. He kept up a dialogue with the writers about what we felt and who we wanted to be involved with. This is not only a good cause, but it's one that the editor chose with great care, and one we all had a hand in selecting.

Kizuna: Fiction for Japan is available for download on Amazon.com for $9.99 or 7 pounds (sorry, Blogger doesn't seem to want to import my "pound" sign right now).

Amazon US here.

Amazon UK here.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Fourth of July Photos - Live from Imperial Beach!

I'm going to try to keep this under fifty words. These were all shot from the north end of Imperial Beach, looking south toward the pier. I needed light and stability, so I shot pretty much from beach level. There are more, but they're not as good...

Big Bay Boom 2011 - The view from Imperial Beach
There were hundreds on the beach where we were.
Some were bright enough to light up the entire beach.
Some of the explosions were even heart-shaped.

Fireworks were going off in San Diego too, but no one here seemed to notice.

The morning after, the beach was quiet and nearly empty. Only a slight scent of fireworks hung in the air.

 More photos are online at Imperial Beach Patch.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

After some delays, I finally decided to start blogging for the Patch network. Patch is an online newspaper located in smaller towns than the also-online Examiner covers. But whereas Examiner is all about "experts" putting their spin on things, Patch keeps it objective. It tells you the facts in true news fashion, and lets you decide for yourself, instead of being told what to think about a situation and why.

So is there much in common between them? Not a whole lot, except for the whole "online" thing. And like many of the other online news organizations, Patch offers a platform for blogging. After being invited to participate by Khari Johnson, Imperial Beach Patch's editor-in-chief, I decided I wanted to be onboard.

I'll probably post more links here to Patch articles, then I do posting links from Patch to the Washroom. For now, this is my first blog post for them. Check out a link or two. It's worth reading.

Perspectives, Neighbors, and Walking the Dog at 1 a.m.

"As far as I can tell, there are three types of folks in Imperial Beach: those who have been here for years, those whose military service brings them here, and those who simply arrived and don't want to leave. I'm in the third group.

Fact is: I'm relatively new to California, only having been here a few years. I'm originally from parts south - Mississippi, Arkansas, those kinds of places.

When I was much younger, still in high school, my family visited San Diego as part of a vacation. I discovered that I had a warm spot in my heart for this part of Southern California that never quite went away. But it was decades before I returned.

My girlfriend accepted a job out here about five years ago. I helped her drive across the country to move and settle in. Her new job was in Chula Vista, and she got an apartment in Otay Ranch. Two years later, when I finally decided to make the move myself, we got a different, larger apartment, still in that part of town.

If I was to say it didn't do much for me, I'd be minimizing it. In actuality, I found it a soul-numbing, mind-draining sort of place - not at all the California I wanted to live in."

Click to keep reading at Imperial Beach Patch...

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Non-Traditional (Part 6) - A Bit About the Students

The end of my first semester back at school was a busy time, what with all the running around, studying, writing, reading, staying up late, waking up early, and ignoring this blog… and that’s nothing on what most of the students I know do.


I was so frazzled that when I woke up, I’d have a mug of coffee with breakfast, or for it. I’d stop at a 7-11 about two hundred feet away, fill up my mug, and stop again at the one across the street from SWC. Then and only then did I feel fortified to start thinking.

Don’t get me wrong. I had a lot to do outside of school, but I saw a lot of students working their tails off to ace those finals and get those grades up. I am impressed. They impressed me, and by and large, they were those students who were here for an education, not a degree.

I say again – I was impressed.

I did well. I pulled some high grades on some finals, turned in some tremendous work, and now have a GPA floating at about 4.0. I’ll be honest. There’s some strutting involved. (But only because this is the first time in recorded history that I’ve rocked a 4.0. In fact, I’ve got some teachers back in the days of yore who would have laughed their rumps off had I told them I’d ever do that well.)

I’m going to show restraint. I’m going to keep my strutting to a minimum. Because I’ve seen students do a lot more, a lot better, and with a lot more obstacles. I know students who have kids and families, are carrying an insane number of classes, who have to travel from campus to campus, who are holding down overtime jobs while they go to school, and who are taking classes and writing essays that make me say, “whut?”

That’s impressive.

Now that I find myself jumping through the same ridiculous hoops that they jump, and digging out exactly what forms the admissions and financial aid people want, and dealing with SWC’s insanely rude and backwards computer systems, and trying to do everything the administration demands, I realize…

It’s really damn impressive. Not me. Them.

I’ve got some things to say about things, believe me. But it only took me a moment to realize that I didn’t want to use this space talking about them. I wanted to use this space for something better.

There are students that still drive me crazy with their laziness, their inability to arrive on time, their dishonest, and their willingness to cheat their ways to that degree.


Like this guy.
 But this isn’t about those people. This is just my way of saying how good it is to know students who do care, who strive to succeed, who work hard, who are never late and never miss a class, are honest and honorable.

This is my way of saying, “Wow, you folks really and truly impress me.” You are the reason that professors like doing what they do. You set an example for your classmates and your colleagues. You make coming into class a joy. You are helping to make the world a better place.

Keep it up.

And speaking as that non-traditional guy who’s gone back to school to improve himself, and who probably watches you and what you do more than you realize… thank you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Why We Cheered: Death of Osama bin Laden, Part 1


On May 1, every news broadcast outlet in the free world announced the news that Osama bin Laden was dead, and that a joint United States venture of the Navy SEALS and the CIA were responsible for his death. After the initial shock, reports continued to come in: some true, some false, and many contradicting the others – Osama was killed a week ago! He shot back at the SEALS! We lost soldiers in Abbottabad! He was buried at sea!

And of course… He wasn’t killed at all!, but that greasy shtick is for a later post.

I cheered. Actually, at home I smiled smugly and made happy comments. On Twitter and Facebook, I cheered. I’m not afraid to say it, and frankly I don’t care if you don’t like it. I cheered.

I watched our Commander-in-Chief explain it to us, in a concise, classic fashion. And I cheered again.


This is the guy in charge, not W.

I don’t recall many people upset that Americans cheered. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that any nationality was happy to hear of his death more than those of us in the States. The Architect of 9/11 had been killed, and by our own goddamned Navy SEALS.

I cheered. I’m still cheering.

I would venture a guess that to most of America, I’m doing nothing more than you are. But to a surprising number of sensitive liberal types, I have suddenly become a tragic monster, an evil, misguided individual who wallows in the death and suffering of others.


No.

I remain a staunch lefty, an American progressive, and a proud liberal. I didn’t lose anyone in the Twin Towers or on 9/11. I knew no one on Flight 93. No one in my family has died in Baghdad or Kandahar. In some of your eyes, I have no justification for it, but still…

I cheered.

I’ve heard your arguments. I’ve seen you misquote Martin Luther King Jr. as you try to convince us of your virtue. I acknowledge your questions, your concerns, and your worries. I respect your right to respect life.

But none of that changes the fact that Osama bin Laden, a monster, is dead. As the head of al-Qaeda, and the man responsible for the deaths of thousands in New York, Washington DC, and Ohio, he is the single worst mass murderer in American history. A murdering sociopath wrapped in faux-Muslim garb, he has directly ordered the deaths of many thousand more Muslims around the world – anyone who disagreed with his fundamental – and fundamentally wrong version of Islam.

I cheered that the monster is dead. No, I didn’t dance in the street in New York or DC, but I share the sentiment. And I’ll admit: I’m confused as to why you don’t.

You argue that President Barack Obama stated that this made the world safer. You say it’s not true. You point out that aside from one terrorist operation of the past decade bin Laden has basically had no impact on world terrorism.

That’s true. So is the fact that just because he’s dead doesn’t mean that terrorism will suddenly disappear, and we have won.

But I find this particular belief system to be disheartening. It supposes a world where this is a black-and-white issue, where terrorism is either on or off, and where we have won or not. I find this binary representation of terrorism and global political situations to be… well… brain-dead.


Yeah... not so much anymore.

President Obama stated it correctly: the world is safer that bin Laden is dead. In addition to planning 9/11, bin Laden planned a series of attacks on Germany, France, and the UK that never happened. But if he is not around to plan these attacks, are we safer? Damn right we are. Are we safe? No, we are not.

Furthermore, you claim that this action will mean that Al-Qaeda will retaliate. I suspect that they will. Here’s the ugly little truth you don’t want to admit you know – al-Qaeda is always looking to retaliate. They are a terrorist group; this is what they do. They need no inciting event to cause them to say, “Gosh, Muammar! With Osama turned into a tub toy, perhaps now would be a good time to attack the United States again!”

They don’t need that. Al-Qaeda has scattered and spun out into various corners of the Middle East, and has become less effective without a figurehead at the top. In the past decade since 9/11, the terrorist icon bin Laden became a shadowy figure, then a spectre. Without that grip that he provided, this may be al-Qaeda’s one last chance to make a splash.

I’d be worried about it, were our intelligence agencies not working with the agencies of the west to stop whatever actions al-Qaeda was planning, regardless of what act has motivated them.

I refuse to live under fear. Those liberals out there who fear a terroristic retaliation are no better than those conservatives who would throw away any civil rights for a chance to feel a little more secure. Your irrational worry is no reason for the rest of this country to feel shame. It is, however, an excellent reason for you to be ashamed.

I suspect that this will have offended many of you. I can’t say I care. I’ve heard you and read your posts where you complain that people like me have attacked you for your beliefs. I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. I’ve read, and heard, attacks by people like you against people like me – repeatedly. You say that I’m a “savage” or “jingoistic” or “wallowing in the deaths of others.” You’re entirely wrong, but you’re entitled to your opinion.

Which is why I don’t really care if I offend you. I’m also entitled to my opinion, which is: Osama bin Laden is dead, and the world is a better place because of it. We’re not safe, we know we’re not safe, but we are safer. Al-Qaeda will continue to try to retaliate against the United States, as they always do. They don’t need bin Laden’s death to justify it.

Feel free to live in fear of that attack. I’m not. I continue to expect that they’ll plan it and we’ll interfere with it. In the meantime, I’m going to be cheering.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Spring Break: A Time for Writing

For those of you who have not been forced to participate in Spring Break at this late time - all of the free world, most of the second and third world, and the personnel of a few space stations - you may not understand what it is to suddenly have time to do nothing.

I'm not a fan of doing nothing, and I'd prefer to do something. One of the things that I did manage to do in the lead-up to this dreary week off* was spend a full week writing something new for the Washroom each day. None of it was groundbreaking, but all of it was original. By doing that, I did find myself feeling the urge to write more and more.

I finished the last major edit of "Melbourn's Storm" and submitted that for peer review. I completely restructured and restarted Chapter 4 of "The Wyrd Magnet" novel, and I added 14 pages (so far) to the novella, "Omega Man's Day Off."

I find myself quite pleased with how things are going. Even with a fairly full week of nothing ahead of me, I plan to keep writing. By the end of the month, I'd like to have the final draft of "Melbourn's Storm" ready to go. I am awaiting a chance to submit "A Chilling Wind," but the window for that doesn't open again until May 1.

So let me ask your indulgence. For the first time in several months, I'm feeling that urge to write. As has been noted, it's starting to pay off. If I seem a little more focused on writing and publishing, and a little less on reporting, scholarship, and politics, let it seem that way.

It's not that I've actually changed. The Sun, attending school, financial aid, and Democratic Party interests still captivate me. But for the moment at least, I want the world to see a little more of Nick the Writer, and not Nick the Journalist, Student, or Activist.

Feel free to fling a little feedback my way. I'm always happy to hear what y'all have to say.

----------



*"And there was much rejoicing." /  "Yaaay." - M. Python

Friday, April 15, 2011

And On the Seventh Day, He Chilled

My little experiment seems to have worked. I’ve posted on the blog once a day for a week. It may not seem like much, but I have to count time as a premium. It was actually difficult in a couple of places to know what to write, but I remembered that not everything had to be earth-shattering, and put down something to say.


It’s been good. I have to say it’s good to try to put thoughts out for others to read on a daily basis. It’s also a pain in the butt, and not something I would ever want to do. On the flip side, it’s increased traffic here about tenfold, and that’s always good.

If ever I bothered to monetize this site, that would really be something, huh?

In the past week, I’ve blogged about politics and the Sun, published fiction, fiction I’m in the process of writing, and even a charity anthology I’m going to be part of. None of these are the most important things in the world, but they sure make my life a little more interesting. If they’ve made yours a little more entertaining, then I call it a win.

I also have to say I think that this has helped “prime the pump” – in an entirely writerly sort of way. Since I’ve started this, I’ve also added some new pages to both “Omega Man’s Day Off” and “The Wyrd Magnet: Chapter Four.”

This is a side benefit I wasn’t expecting. I’m probably going to try to keep up the blogging for a while, if only to help keep up the writing.

Thanks for sticking around here.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

More Financial Shenanigans at SWC: Forensic Accountants to Investigate Alioto and the Contractors

Whoa. I need practice keeping these short. I had hoped to put this one up two or three days ago when the link to our stories on the Southwestern College Sun website. But it only came up sometime tonight. So with little adieu, allow me to present:


Allow me a minute to crow and say this is my third front-page article in a row. This makes me unusually happy. But more importantly, this is another financial story that grew and grew as I looked into it. I started this by going to an oversight committee meeting to hear a short positive audit report. But when I was there, I heard something disturbing. The next day, I spoke with Bob Temple, the new interim vice president of business and financial affairs at SWC. He gave me more still more disturbing information.

It grew like that. As it did, other reporters and other writers started finding more information that started to overlap what I had. And as we started looking into it, several things became clear.

The first is that Nick Alioto, the now-ex-vice president of business, was involved in many different questionable – possibly illegal – actions. We always knew that, but it was good to have it confirmed. Secondly, it also became clear that Henry Amigable, the project manager for Seville Construction who worked hand-in-hand with Alioto to oversee construction on campus, was almost as dirty as the vice-president. The third thing is that the entire construction situation is dirty and possibly corrupt.

We have one more issue coming out this semester. I hope to have a piece written with another couple of editors and reporters about the construction situation. And if I don’t get everything I want, I’ll try to follow up either this summer on the blog, or next fall at the paper.

So if that seems like I’m saying that I’ll likely be back in school next fall… yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Provided they’ll take me – and you can take that to mean either SWC or the Sun – I’ll be back.

I kind of like the place, you know?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"Melbourn's Storm" - Looks Like the Rainbow is in Sight

It is with great pleasure that I report that I've gotten back most of the feedback and criticism I requested for this fourth version of my short story, "Melbourn's Storm." I'm pleased to say that I am happy.

With only a trio of critiques still out - and one of those about half-reported - it's clear that, this time, there are no over-arching problems, no structural defects, no big "what?" questions that plagued the other versions. I have increased its length, as many thought that the third version was too truncated and it ruined the tale's atmosphere. After many re-readings, I was forced to agree.

I have back only half a page or so of notes. Most of those are one of two styles. The first is: "Would he or she say/do/think this at that time?" The second is: "Is that clear enough?"

I will definitely consider both. In most cases, I think that he or she said/did/or thought the right thing at the right time, but I'll consider some changes. I'm a little more worried about the clarity, so I'll probably be tweaking a line or two here and there.

I've still got two-and-a-half critiques back, so I can't consider my work done. But I am happy to say that with these little tweaks, I'm going to consider "Melbourn's Storm" done. It'll be nice to have a new piece to try to get published, though I'll probably be quite annoyed if it doesn't happen the very first time.

I say that with some sarcasm, of course. If I couldn't get it right the first time, I wouldn't expect someone to want to print it the first time either.

My last thought is that it was suggested to me to set this up as an online short story. That might be nice, but it's not my style. I am a big fan of ink-and-paper, and I'd prefer to see it in print - meaning print.

It always seems to me to mean just a little bit more when someone says, "That's great. I'd love to publish it for you."

I'll let you know how it goes.