tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1966979760169236899.post7369203846239858558..comments2024-01-27T20:55:04.642-08:00Comments on The Writer's Washroom: Heroes... Chapter Two - DunbarNickolashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08187845898733828684noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1966979760169236899.post-74142815408901705712009-04-19T22:01:00.000-07:002009-04-19T22:01:00.000-07:00I agree, there's a nice flow happening here. I fel...I agree, there's a nice flow happening here. I felt like there were a few points where this got interrupted though. The part where he is in the first bar, the paragraph that begins "I'm looking for the surgeon..." I feel like the language/sentences get a little clusmy here, kind of halting the flow. Too much looking at the floor I guess, also the "attempting to fit a social group not his own" twotalianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1966979760169236899.post-61397274458169274152009-04-09T04:54:00.000-07:002009-04-09T04:54:00.000-07:00Looks like James beat me to the "weed", go figure....Looks like James beat me to the "weed", go figure. It does zip right along so it seems your getting very good at trimming the meat. I wanted to ask since I first read this wonderful behemoth of yours, why is the night elven night vision green? Just curious.Bryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06031672023353005976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1966979760169236899.post-87659258057710372852009-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:002009-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:00I only saw one thing. Hamish thinks to himself tha...I only saw one thing. Hamish thinks to himself that the "vallon week(?) dulled the pain." Vallon weed perhaps? This chapter flowed like the Mississippi (downstream!) It seemed like this one was easier for you. Well done, Master Jedi.Jamesnoreply@blogger.com